What if you can't forgive?
You have probably heard some people say that they can never forgive. Maybe you have said it too! For whatever reason they say this, the result is the same. Unforgivingness gets so wedged into their heart that the root of bitterness infects the different areas of their life. A bitter person is the very opposite to a gracious persone. Or to approach it a bit differently, bitterness is the opposite of Jesus. In summary, if someone has offended you including yourself, then you have it within your power to forgive.

What does it mean not to be able to forgive?
This common phrase 'not being able to forgive' means that we do not want to forgive rather than the implied 'we cannot forgive.' The bulk of the problem is having the offended humbly acknowledge this simple fact of their unforgiving heart. It is a will problem. And though it seems like a radical statement, we must affirm that the problem in a real sense is not them but us. After all, God worked with the humble sinners rather than with the stubborn and prideful ones.

What happens when you do not forgive others?
There are several consequences. None of them are pleasant. Each brings the worse out of a situation.

• An unforgiving spirit poisons ones own heart with bitterness.
• 'Can't forgive oneself ' implies a resistance to change and therefore makes reconciliation impossible.
• Without reconciliation, sour relationships will persist until death.
• More than often, their hatred infects their descendants and they live bitter lives. Perhaps we should think of our will as a hate list.
• Great emotional pain and misery is associated with those who live bitter lives. This is partly due to no good friends. They cannot tolerate the bitter comments.
• Diseases follows this path of bitterness. Our bodies cannot handle this unforgiving heart.
• A scary future. God will not forgive those who do not forgive others.
• Although they claim to be right, they in fact cause further wrong to be done because of their unforgiving heart. They can never bring proper revenge.
• All the joys in life meant to be theirs is dashed in some ashes of bitterness.

In summary,

• We wish hate on others but it stays in our heart.
• We wish for other lives to be ruined but it is ours that is ruined. Our own precious children and grandchildren must suffer from the source of the original wrong.